Footnotes: Doritos Goat Commercial – Goat 4 Sale

Doritos typically has funny television ads – and the Doritos goat commercial one is no exception. Directed by Ben Callner and produced by Pogo Pictures, this was a Doritos Crash the Super Bowl 2013 finalist. It didn’t air during the big game, but it still made it onto network television, which is pretty cool.

In addition to recruiting his parents to help with script supervision and craft services, Callner used 2,000 popsicle sticks, 150 bags of Doritos, a goat named Moose and a small team of volunteers from Pogo Pictures, a film production company that Callner “repeatedly pestered with his silly ideas,” according to the YouTube description.

But there are certainly some holes to poke in the advertisement. For starters, were there no questions about why the seller has a broken neck and crutches. Anytime I see someone wearing that kind of neck brace (happens more than you’d expect), the first question is “how did you hurt your neck?” I broke my wrist earlier this year and the only two questions people asked me was how it happened and if they could sign my cast. I’ve never felt so popular.

Additionally, how much did this man pay for the goat? Does the goat have any discernible talents other than eating bags of Doritos? Would he turn away a bag of Ruffles?

How Many Bags Get Eaten in the Doritos Goat Commercial?

The goat also eats at least 156 bags of Doritos within one day. That’s a pretty impressive rate of 6.5 bags per hour. Sure, they’re small bags, but that’s remarkably consistent eating. I start to feel that sinking cheesy feeling after like a bag and a half. Speaking of which, 156 bags of Doritos equals 23,400 calories, 1,248g of fat, and 28,080mg of sodium. That’s about 12 and a half times your daily recommended intake of sodium, not to mention a gross overconsumption of calories and fat, as well. On the plus side, you’re getting 2g of protein per bag, which is the equivalent of eating a 53oz Porterhouse steak. So that’s pretty cool.

I’m also quite curious as to why the man only has Doritos in his home. Does he even have any other varieties of the chip besides the classic nacho cheese? And if the goat roughs him up too badly, will he ever bring Doritos back to the house again for feeding time? So many unanswered questions. But this did briefly bring back memories of the screaming goat meme. I can’t be too upset.

View other Footnotes here.